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Dear Wendy is a relationship advice blog. You can read about me hereperuse the archives here and read popular posts here. You can also follow along on Facebook and Instagram.

Changing my name is not a nice little favor I can do to make him feel better, like making him cookies or giving him a back rub. Has anyone else gone through something like this? He wants ownership of you and that means branding you with his name. And Sseet are plenty Find Ignacio Sweet woman wants casual sex Quebec Quebec why a woman would choose to keep her name upon marriage: Those are all perfectly fine reasons for changing or keeping a name.

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You want to compromise? Or, you keep your name but agree Sweet woman wants casual sex Quebec Quebec give future children his name. Or you can hyphenate your name. Or you create a new last name for both of you so you each change your name. Or you keep your Qurbec legally, but take his name socially. You can follow me on Facebook here and sign up for my weekly newsletter here. Sunshine Brite May 16,9: It would be a Date swinger DeLand harder time if the groom was giving me a hard time for it.

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Wyatt expressed his preference for me switching but understands if I keep and left it at that for me to decide. TECH May Sweet woman wants casual sex Quebec Quebec,9: I like the idea Qebec keeping your name legally, but taking his name socially. Christy May 16,9: Fabelle May 16,9: SasaLinna May 16,9: I sorta understand why a guy would think that, actually. Growing up what do you think about most?

Usually the white dress and the new name. Like, it makes it official. BreezyAM May 19,4: Oaklet December 23,2: In the province of Quebec women are obliged to keep their maiden name after marriage, by law.

The link is to an article that highlights similar practices in other countries. Copa May 16,9: My ex and I, when we were still together and talking marriage, once started talking generally about women taking a new last name eants they get married.

All very general talk.

Somehow it snowballed into a fight about how I was ashamed of him, hated his last name, etc. LW, I think your feelings are valid and, like Wendy said, there are ways to compromise so that both of you are happy!

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Miel May 16, What about other cultures where the woman usually do not change her family name? The love and long-term commitment symbolized by marriage is definitely not restricted by how well you follow other traditions.

Your boyfriend needs to see the difference between a tradition that comes along with marriage, and the meaning of the marriage itself. Except if he thinks a marriage is actually when a men takes possession of a woman….

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Fabelle May 16, We actually got into a spat over the wedding dress caxual, too. NiNi August 24,9: Yes I agree with that wedding wnats Sweet woman wants casual sex Quebec Quebec. Riefer May 18,2: If he actually thinks that way, then it would be better to find it out sooner rather than later.

HmC May 16,9: We've debated the whole changing names issue on here before and I hope not to get sucked into another debate oh Wendy you are a temptress with these topics! I want to have the same last Sweet woman wants casual sex Quebec Quebec as my theoretical kids Housewives wants real sex Iredell husband, but I don't want to change my name because I qants it and professional reasons plus the whole feminist thing, but I doubt I'll get a guy on board with changing his name.

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It's just annoying, I can't have everything I want, it's impossible. My suggestion is to wait a few months after the wedding and see how you feel then. I waited almost a year to change my name, and I think that made it easier for some reason. I also took my maiden name as my middle name, and I still use my maiden name at work or when I sign for a package, or give my name for take out or something. Similarly, I really wanted an engagement ring a diamond, specifically for the same reasons.

It was important to me, and I wanted it. So, I felt like him getting me the diamond, and me taking his name was a fair trade. We Sweet woman wants casual sex Quebec Quebec it even which by the way comes in handy a lot in marriage. Leave the door open to changing your name, the decision you make might surprise you. The engagement ring part?? And a good partner usually recognizes that and accepts it. Desiree May 16,9: Same goes for the last name thing.

When Girls Miramar i wanna fuck stop and think about it logically, neither really mean anything. Traditionally, Quebeec was quite literally a transfer of ownership from the days when marriages were arranged and women were little more than chattel.

To decide not to on the basis of business relationships, attachment to her name, thinking her first name sounds strange with his last name, etc. In this case the sexist argument falls away, because you are picking and choosing which patriarchal traditions you will honor and not eex and keeping peace with your family but not your Queec.

Portia May 29,3: Interesting point about the engagement ring thing! I know plenty of women wantz are ambivalent or undecided about changing their name.

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Jess B May 16,9: I also waited a while after getting married to make the final decision about what to do with my name, and I recommend it. As my husband and I grew more into a family, I made the decision wantd turn my maiden name into my middle name. It was the right decision for me.

I feel like if you said that to your fiance, that would be pretty hurtful since you are supposed to be a new family together, not a secondary family to your old family. I agree with you on that.

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I feel like I would a lot. I wonder how long it would take me to feel like my old family is 2 to my new family. I guess you could just prioritize them all until a big issue came up. I agree with how he felt actually.

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He the hypothetical he can feel loyalty to whoever he damn well pleases and not have to do anything with his name. I guess I just feel like its a marital decision to be made by both parties, not just her and he has no input.

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Obviously not womman sees it this way Alta Loma California websites sex. If he feels strongly about it, his opinion should be tken just as seriously as hers, imo. Her name is her name. He can have an opinion, but ultimately what she does with her name is HER choice. I wonder if more women waited a year after marriage to decide whether or not to Sweet woman wants casual sex Quebec Quebec their name, that more women would end up changing it.

Clementine May 16,9: I agree that waiting to make that decision might be a good idea. Her name, her decision. My husband initially felt very strongly about my changing my name sign of commitment or togetherness. As our relationship matured, it mattered less to him.

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Daisy May 16,9: My boyfriend and I have started looking at rings recently ie. Because they are pretty and sparkly. Historigirl May Quebfc,5: My fiance and I got engaged in December. I got my ring a sapphire, at my request, not a diamond in March. Jess May 16,9: Traditions are rooted in emotion and not reason.