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If our bodies are built for pleasure, why is that so many of us struggle to enjoy sex? And how do we go about having a better time of it?

This was the question renowned scientist and sex educator Marie Stopes answered when she authored what was effectively the first sex manual for British women, Married Love: In the first instance, not understanding the mechanics of your body — as married virgin Stopes ar out — can massively hamper the pleasure you experience using it.

Society frequently chastises youthful sexual exploration when we should valorise it. Masturbation is how you learn not only how to give Sexy great man at your service gerat but how to teach someone else to give it to you.

What else could be turning you off along the way? Besides sexual trauma often being held in the body, arousal starts more regularly in the mind than in the genitals.

If you have not been abused, but find yourself blocked all the same, what were the messages you grew up with about sex?

Did you receive an overbearing religious or moralistic education that taught you carnal doings brought sin? Are you struggling with your sexual orientation? Was a primary caregiver a cheater whose actions hurt the family?

It is also well-documented that mental serviec conditions such as depression and anxiety drain libido, as do the most popular antidepressants used to treat them. You might be asexualalthough given this identity only applies to an estimated 1. You may also simply be doing it wrong.

Men are also more likely to fake an orgasm than lie about their height on a dating site. The most common reason?

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Sometimes we simply care too much about the other person to communicate our own needs. What sex is supposed to be generates a Sexy great man at your service amount of anxiety for too many of us. Your sexual desire is not static. What you masturbate to at 16 you chortle over at What could blow your load with one partner makes you roll over and fall asleep next to another.

gteat Your inhibitions loosen — or tighten — or loosen again. What a waste, I would tell them — think of all the pleasure you could be having.

But there was the sticking point. After all, not everyone has a receptive and open-minded partner willing to venture everywhere with them. And not every partner seeking such tolerance would reciprocate it.

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Some ah — the non-consensual ones — may not be for the reckoning and by that, Sexy great man at your service mean acts that are illegal, not those that explore force or domination with both parties fully willing. But if you keep losing yourself to one reverie in particular, why repress a potential source of joy? From Jane Austen to Tinder and a sex and relationships broadcaster.

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